"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
- Dave Barry
"Beer: The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."
- Homer Simpson
"Beer: helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B.C."
- W.C. Fields
"Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this
beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.
think, 'It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than
be selfish and worry about my liver.'"
- Babe Ruth
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."